What is Love?

What is love? In this world we get love and lust mixed up. Or better yet, think anything "in the moment" can be "true love" -- we toss this word around like it's a hacky sack. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 couldn't be more dead on about what love is (click here to see the passage). It's cliche to be read at a wedding but it couldn't put it in a better way to describe love (The Bible is always right). And when true love is apparent, it's like "a town built on a hill cannot be hidden" (Matthew 5:14). Over the weekend, I witnessed the most beautiful couple that couldn't be more perfect that joined in harmony.

Hobey and Lea had an awesome wedding where I cried about 5 different times (or every time Hobey cried, I was there with him). I'm a hopeless romantic so anything that has to do with love will make me cry -- especially at weddings. When Lea walked down the aisle, I looked at Hobey the whole time and I couldn't help but see the true love he has for her. He's about to marry the most amazing/beautiful/funny/stubborn woman in the world that couldn't fit his palm better than anyone else. The start of the rest of his life with Lea is beginning and I could see it through his face shaking, inhale/exhales, looking up at the ceiling, and trying to contain himself. I realized at that moment how big their love was.

Now, going to weddings are my favorite. But it only made me look at myself more, and see where my stance is in this "love ladder." I am at the bottom and far from walking down the aisle, but I long for that moment just like any other girl. To be able to find that person I have a deeper love than skin, and to be able to share my uglies and pretties together; aka best friend.

I got some good advice from Annaliza and I can't agree more! Girls, if you're single, you'll go through phases of being crazy, feeling more lonely than a duck in the highway, then being okay with being that duck. When we're lonely, we want to search for that object to fill that void. But it just shows how not ready we are to be in a relationship. Once we become content, happy and prideful in being a sad duck is when we glow, and that is when we are ready to be in a relationship. Wanting to fill our loneliness is natural, but hunting for someone/thing shows how emotionally unstable we are. So, just be single, be sad, be that poor little duck crossing the highway, and before you know it, you'll shine like a star! :)

I've learned when you look for something, you never find it. Let it come gradually and let God do the magic. Don't shake the tree, just let the leaves fall. :)

 Lea was stunning! 

He's such a sweetheart ! 

Money dance! 

CONGRATULATIONS TO HOBEY & LEA UN! 

busy busy bysu sbuy usby ysbu

Who's not busy these days? We all say we're busy but we make time for the ones we care about. No matter what, there's no excuse for not making time for the ones you love. Somehow, someway we can always make something work. Maintaining anything needs time, work, and effort.

So I've been going crazy lately. I don't work 12's like some people I know, or work crazy long hours. But I have been more busy! I've always been the "busy bee," but boy I've haven't even had time to sleep! Well, more like my body won't let me sleep. No matter what time I sleep, I wake up at least by 8am! --drives me CRAZY. Working two jobs isn't so bad, but this past week was finals week. So I think that drained me out even more. I've worked 12 shifts in 7 days. My main question is how am I still awake and functioning?

On top of 12 shifts and finals week, I had Father's day, my brother's high school graduation and Lea's bridal shower, too. (SO MUCH IS HAPPENING!) This has been the busiest I have been! Wait, I remember working 96 hours in 1 week once when I worked at Nordstrom and Flo, so I take that back. But now that I'm not 21 anymore, my body begs for mercy when I put myself through this.

Well, despite it all the hard work I'm doing, I guess it's summer? But where is it? I remember this time last year I was at Matthews Beach! But it's barely nice enough to get a jog out. I'm ready for summer! I don't want to worry about being cold walking to my car. And yes, now that the quarter is over... that is my biggest worry! Oh, and the gas prices going up.

Imperfect Friendship

Something about imperfection is beautiful. Perfection is great but what fun is that? When someone/thing is perfect that means no work has to be added. There's always room for improvement and without work, we never learn. With that being said, an imperfect friendship is better than a perfect friendship.

Over the weekend, my best friend Leilani Fe Romulo Ambion graduated from UW! If you're wondering, she got a Bachelors of Science in Health Informatics and Health Information Management. Whew, that was long. So aka HIHIM. I remember she couldn't figure out what she wanted to do a few years ago going back and forth; we would joke about how we are never going to graduate. But finally she settled and accomplished! To be honest, I never knew something like this even existed, but what do I know? haha. Well, I have to say that I am so happy for her and proud of her. :)

Through the years I've seen Leila grow up in a different way. I've seen her at her best, worst, ugly, and even ugliest. I remember the day I met her she was in the back of Addison's car by Alki Beach 9 years ago, and I thought she was a quiet girl. She was introduced to me as "Mike's sister, Leila" and remember thinking she's just the sister tagging along with her older brother and his friends. Who knew we'd have such a journey together 9 years down the line?

I know for a fact that I annoy her. I bug her. I do things the way she doesn't like. I say things she doesn't like. Yet she loves me. Same goes for me. Her drunk voice first of all... can sometimes be funny. It's annoying but funny. I laugh every time I watch a drunk video of her cause of her voice. And she even laughs about it too. I guess when you have a deep understanding of friendship with someone it becomes more than "having fun" together. People say I'm a blunt person and can never lie (I am). I absolutely hate lying! But I can't be 100% blunt to everyone. However, I tell Leila how it is and she doesn't take it offensively. I let her know how I feel, what I think, and what my thoughts are. We can get into sensitive subjects and even end up in an argument but in the end everything is okay.

My love for this girl is so big it's annoying. Why do I care about her so much? Friendship isn't about money, how much or how little you do for someone, but rather what you get out of it. I have to say that I can count on her any time and she will do what she can for me.

Leila is one of a kind. She's the youngest of 4 so you can just say she's a spoiled little brat that has her way. But that's not all. She is a fun, loving, giving, caring, person that knows how to be a friend. Leila is my "emergency contact" in a lot of forms I fill out -- that's a big thing. I trust her enough to know that she has my back regardless of what she may be doing. I know that I would drop anything for her to be where she needs me. I can't say how many times I've thought about our friendship and got teary-eyed. The understanding between us is hard to find with anyone these days. You could say that history has a lot to do with it but she has been through everything with me -- through the toughest years of my life until now. She's been a solid rock for me when I was a pebble needing a friend.

Whenever I need advice or support I turn to her cause I know she'll give me an honest answer. She genuinely cares what my days are like and wants to know how I am throughout the week. She's the first person I dial when something happens. Whether it would be knowing a juicy gossip, getting into an accident, or being frustrated about something I'm bawling about. I know that we're imperfect people but we make each other better. She has flaws but so do I. I love her dearly and I am proud to say that she is my best friend. :) Congratulations and I love you, Leila!

p.s. A relationship that never argues/has problems is like a muscle that never works out.

Happy vs. Joy

Everyone can say they're "happy." But being happy is different than feeling joy. Often times girlfriends will ask each other "Are you happy?" It can be regarding their job, boyfriend, school and whatever else life can bring. I find myself asking my friends this question, too. And if it's manageable and not life threatening, most of them will answer "Yeah, I'm happy."

Being happy and feeling joy are two different things. Happiness can be found from materialistic things. But true joy comes from deep within. To feel joy is another level of happiness that I believe is hard to find. Even depressed people can say they're happy and "okay," but to feel joy in themselves/their lives is tough. I feel blessed that I am at a point in life where I feel joy and am even happy. I love where I am with (almost) everything. Not to mention, I feel like all of our friends are getting closer, and everyone is at a good place. :) I know I say I want to leave Seattle and I have the biggest itch to leave -- but I know that it's easier said than done. Leaving everything behind would be the toughest thing. Yet I still wanna leave to see what else is out there. Contradicting myself, I know... :T

The other day I talked to my best friend on the phone, and it was the first time in a few weeks. I told her she sounds happy. Then I stopped myself and said, "No. You sound like you have joy in your life!" True joy comes from within that can't be hidden no matter how hard you try. Being content with yourself, satisfied with where you stand, and having confidence in yourself are only a few of the factors to show that you have joy in your life. Happiness can be a front of our true emotions. But no matter what, joy can't be a front because it's a true, genuine emotion that's explosive like a firework.

Moozic

We don't realize how important our senses are until we lose it. I mean, when we get a cut on our pinky, we cry about it cause we can't grab a spoon correctly shows how much we take our health for granted (at least I cry about it). I always asked myself which sense do I consider the most important? With no questions, I always said "sight," but the more I think, I can't depict what's a greater value in life than the other. What if I can never feel how soft a pillow is? Taste my mom's jaw-dropping cooking? Can't smell wonderful elephant ears at the fair? See what my parents look like?  Hear what a piano sounds like?

Something about silence is eerie. In a car ride we turn the music on if it's dead quiet with someone -- or even when we're alone. And when we have company over, we turn on the TV in the background to just have "noise" going even though we may be engaged in a conversation. I mean, I have the TV on right now and some hair-growth formula is being advertised to me. One, I can't find my remote still so I can't change the channel. Two, I have it on just for background noise. Three, the music is also on. All these noise-related things are going. Something about the fact that I'm alone in my room lying in bed blogging makes me want to feel not alone. And with that, I fill that void with music. Music makes me feel not alone yet alone.

You can't listen to music while talking to someone. When I listen to a lyric I can't do anything but focus. I can't be reading a book, listen to a song for the first time and know what both authors are saying to me. But when I'm alone, that's when I hear the music. I get engaged and fall in love.

Over the years I've learned to appreciate music on a deeper level. How genius it is to create something beautiful, and to even be able to sing with a beautiful voice. I played piano for 12 years and I still don't understand how people can create music that's soothing to the ears. Geniuses like Beethoven and Chopin blows my mind away that they could create music so beautiful. Then onto music today. Sigh... some are just ridiculous but there are a few artists that are considered real artists. I enjoy all sorts of music, actually. But usually slow jams, r&b, gospel, Christian, jazz, and some pop. But music is something I love and use to fill the void I have once in awhile. I don't think I can go a day without music. Better yet a shower without it. When I forget my iPod for snowboarding I get really sad and boarding isn't the same. It's definitely influenced me and kept me sane when I needed to be. I've realized I turn to music more than I thought and I'm thankful that I have this sense to experience music. And I'll be honest... I've blasted my music and started dancing like no one's watching cause no one is watching. :)


p.s. I am in love with this song. :)
What Happened To Us -Jessica Mauboy feat. Jay Sean

Live Life

Life is too short. So why not live it to the fullest while we're in it? I'm young, I don't really have any huge responsibilities, I don't have any attachments, I have nothing huge to worry about minus trying to graduate and keeping my bosses happy. I'm constantly hearing from people that "[I] should do everything while [I'm] young." So... I'm taking that advice.

As insane as it may sound, it's really not. But I'm going to LA/San Diego! Kind of a last minute trip once again but oh well. It's usually not what you do but who you're with that's more important. So I'm not so focused on where I'm going more than who I'm going with. Although I am super excited for it! Anda goes into busy season starting last week of July and she will be married for 3 months... aka hibernation mode. So I need to get as much time with Anda as possible! She gets 2 days off for Independence Day, and vacation days are slim on her end. So we thought we'd take advantage of it and take a 6 day trip to LA/San Diego. Plus, be in a different place than Seattle for once for the 4th of July. Sorry guys, but we won't be in Matt's backyard lighting fireworks this year haha! I'm sure you guys will have fun while Matt's mom cooks up a storm and the boys play basketball for hours. :)

Two weeks right after, I head to Vegas again! I can't get enough of that place. Not to mention more Vitamin D for me. :) So far this is all I have for summer since I shouldn't push it with my bosses. I guess my summer will end a little early? But who knows, a possible spontaneous trip may happen. Why not? LIVE LIFE! :D

Lighter Note

On a lighter note, I feel a high in life and feel blessed to have the family and friends I have. I guess with life we become mature with age. But since boys never become men and stay boys forever, this doesn't really count towards them. :)

I can't really complain about life right now. God has blessed me with the comfort of stability, courage and wisdom. I have a calm ease in my heart that everything is okay. I have wonderful friends who support me, and a family that stands behind me no matter what. However before I know it, I'll have a problem to solve; just watch. How we handle problems in life show our character. I'm not the best at it but I try to stay sane. I know I freak out and go crazy but I just need a little bit of time to relax and woosa it all out. I would say who I am is all because of my dad. If you know me, you know I refer to my dad about everything. He has taught me everything I know in life, and showed me how to handle life at the worst. From how to being a friend, handling money, being on time, how to treat people, and knowing what people are like in the world and every crevice in between is all from him.

Girls tend to want a man that's like their dad, and if I ever meet a man that's half the man my dad is, I couldn't be happier. Subconsciously I think I look for a man like my dad and become picky. Everything he has ever said is true and I can't pick out any wrong thing he's ever said. He's been the rock in my life through the ups and downs, the worst and the best.

So, deleting all my blogs shouldn't be my biggest worry. I should be happy because it just gives me a clean slate to start off of. Everything happens for a reason. And I have a lot to be happy and grateful for.

Btw, this past weekend was my twins' (Anda & Aya) birthday weekend. Sadly I only have 1 picture with the both of them so this will have to suffice. (More pics on fb later on this week)