Make that Paperrr

Success. We all want to be "successful" when we "grow up." Well, most of my friends and I are considered grown ups... so I guess we should already be successful? But what does it even mean to be successful?

I believe being successful is not how much you have, how much money you make, or what you own. But rather what you have conquered, overcome and achieved in life. The short/long term goals that we set for ourselves and what we do to execute those will determine how successful we are. It's great to have goals to have lots of monies and enough of it to throw it in a club. :) But it's funny how this world has impelled us into thinking money = success. Money can get us far in this world. And without it, we really can't do much. I swear, the rich get richer while the poor get poorer (most cases). [Kind of off subject: The other day I had a customer who came in and bought 7 items from me at Nordstrom. And spent $8k like it was grocery shopping in the "Manager's Special" aisle.]

It's hard to think that we're successful when we're living paycheck to paycheck, eating crumbs off of our counters, buying food at 711 or even saving our McChicken from McDonald's for 2 separate meals. Rather that's more of a comfort level than being successful? Idk... But to a degree, YES! Success = how much money is sitting in your bank account. But it's not everything. So don't ever feel like you aren't successful just cause you can't live comfortably, eat gourmet foods, buy nice designer clothes, and spend money as if you grow it yourself.

Being content and grateful for what you have no matter what + optimism can boost your idea of what "success" is!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS! and MERRY NEW YEAR! :)

All I Want for Christmas...

So I know I'm not the best girl. Nor the nicest. However, I do think I deserve some things I want... just because I try to be green throughout the year more than some people. :)

-Pilot G-2 07 pens in black
-A new chain for my Chanel necklace. Allison got it for me as my 21st birthday and the chain is wearing out.
-Starbucks gift cards
-Grocery gift cards
-Sonicare
-Automatic toilet bowl cleaner  (they're the white things you drop inside the tank that look like a giant mint)
-Alcohol (This can always be used. Preferably Goose or Effen, please!)
-21-22" TV. Right now, this is my TV and it's been my TV for 9 years... haha
-DVD player to go with it? Currently my DVD player is broken and won't open so a Friends disc has been inside for over 1.5 years.
-Rechargeable batteries for AA and AAA
-Seche Vite top coat
-Glue gun refills
-Brita filters
-Hot yoga gift cards to this place (THIS IS SUPER SUPER USEFUL TO ME!!)
-Electric kettle. This is the one I would dream of.. but there are others that are generic brands.
-Toaster Oven. Any kind really... to make my wings and breakfast sandwiches is what I want.
-Chocolate covered gummy bears
-A massage
-Bubble bath. Preferably lavender scent. But please no other bath/lotion stuff!

Christmas is so near and this is the first time I am not prepared... I have so much to do in so little time! Happy Holidays, everyone! :)

Effortless

You get what you put in (twss = that's what she said). The amount of effort you put in is what you get out (twss. haha okay, I'll stop). Often times people sit there and wonder why their life isn't changing or isn't moving forward. Well, if you keep doing what you're always doing, you're going to get what you always get.

Putting effort into something means we have to care about it; whether it's a class we're taking, a relationship, wrapping a Christmas gift or even giving our bouquet of flowers fresh water with flower food. It's worth putting effort into something because we want it/get what we want/it's meaningful to us. And often times, the result of something will show how much we cared about it. But there's also the side of the inevitable where things just fall apart and die over time (aka flowers. And some other things).

But to encounter something where it's effortless to be great is even better! Or to make it work, be good and successful without much effort. Okay, I am rambling... But when you find something where it comes natural and becomes effortless... it's a great feeling. Kind of like those people who just know how to be a handy man and just put their hands on a broken item and in 10 minutes, it's all fixed! It's effortless to them and they're great at it. Or perhaps someone who can magically write an amazing paper in an hour when it takes me 3. -__-

I guess this can all be a category of something called passion. Once you find your passion, it becomes effortless to be awesome at it. And when that happens, it's an amazing feeling because who doesn't want to do something that's so effortless? AND enjoy it?

Then once in awhile you come across people in life where you just click and it's effortless to make it work. There's those friends where a lot of work has to be put in to even have a relationship. Yet once in a blue moon, you find people where everything falls into place without much struggle. And those are always worth keeping around. <3 People whom you can be yourself around, don't need to impress, and be comfortable around is a blessing. It's a small chance to find these good ones but when you do, put effort into the effortless relationship to keep it going. :)

I really shouldn't be blogging when I have so much to do during finals week! sigh... -__-

p.s. if you change your flower water daily with a little bit of flower food, your flowers will last 7+ days!

MAN UP!

If you did something wrong (men or women), just man up and apologize. Stop making excuses to go around it. Knowing how to apologize shows character. Learn to come to your mistakes whether it was intentional or unintentional. And apologize sincerely. The end.

Pet Peeves

Seems very anal yet minimal... But Krystal and I have conversations (quite often) about our pet peeves. Number one thing for us: GRAMMAR! It's nothing crazy. Just basics.

People, if you are above 5th grade, please know your:

-There, their, they're.
-Your and you're. Tip: You're means YOU ARE.
-Would of is actually would have.
-Lose: Opposite of win. Loose: Not tight.
-It's sepArate. Not seperate.
-A lot is 2 words. not 1.
-Anyways is not a word. It's anyway.
-Spelling words in a ridiculous way like we did back in middle skool is not kewl. (pun intended)
-Definitely does not have an "A" (definately).
-"Then" is used when talking about a sequence. "Than" is used when comparing.

There is a lot more but these are basic things that are mostly common. So, go ahead and learn. If you need help, I would be more than happy to explain everything thoroughly for anyone. :)

Easier Said Than Done

Worry Less.
Smile more.
Accept criticism.
Take responsibility.
Listen.
Love.
Don't hate.
Embrace change.
Feel good anyway.

Love the life you live. Live the life you love. 

Baby, it's Cold Outside

Being in the Pacific Northwest has its ups and downs. Well, first off, we get all 4 seasons so we get to see rain, snow, hail, shine, and the trees changing colors magically. When we have a beautiful day, we take it as a blessing and maximize our day with it. When it snows, we think of excuses to call-in work/school and say “we can’t make it” to just to play in it.

There’s nothing more I hate than being cold. Yes, I know hate is a strong word. But I absolutely hate it! I know most males would disagree just because they all “hate” being hot. But I would rather be too hot than too cold. I feel helpless, dysfunctional, and feel like I can never get out of it! 

Lately, it’s been so cold my intestines hurt and my blood flow stops. But the thing is.. it’s going to get colder. -__- Dealing with frosted cars in the morning and having to wear too big of a jacket I can’t check my blind spot is how I try to manage the cold here. And my biggest worry in the mornings are: "What do I need to do so I'm not cold walking to my car? Is my car frosty? Should I scrape the ice or let it defrost?" Seems anal and tedious, but like I said... there's nothing I hate more than being cold. 

With all this weather approaching, it makes me excited for SNOWBOARDING SEASON! I haven't decided if I want to get a season's pass this year but we shall see. I've had one the past 2 years though. There's nothing I love more than snowboarding even though I suck. And for this one activity... I'm okay with my teeth clattering. 

Don't Justify

Everything in life is subjective. Okay, maybe not 100%. But most of the things in life are subjective. We all have our own opinions, thoughts, and justify it in our own brain to say "It's all good!" But once in awhile we fall into a pit that is not right, but do nothing about it. We know it's not right, we need to get out, we need to run, open another door, and book it. Yet we sit there and sulk in our own misery.

Next thing you know, the sulking we do brainwashes us to think it's okay now. The job you hated became "manageable." The relationship that was making you pull your eyeballs out is now "tolerable." The friend you had a problem with is "dissipating" by silence.

Over time we get used to things. Whether it's a new home, a new friend, a new facebook layout, an upgraded version on our iPhones or even the way Costco has their aisles organized. Over time, we get used to it. But this goes for even negative situations. We tell ourselves it's okay to be in this and/or feel this way that it becomes normal. Therefore why I hear girls say "It's okay, I got used to him yelling all the time." Or better yet, "It's okay he hits me. It's not like he's going to kill me." I think this is a right time to use this face --> O_O

It's funny how far we go to justify something because we are comfortable. Or even to not disappoint anyone. We brainwash ourselves in this negative energy that we turn it into "positive" energy. We become accustomed to something appalling it's gross. And over time, that grossness becomes normal.

Never settle for anything less than the best. Never sell yourself short. Never tell yourself you don't deserve the best. Never justify something to make it okay. When you think you've reached the best, strive for more.

Comfortable

Comfort. Who doesn't like it? It's that point where everything is all good and everything is in place where you want it to be. As an interior design student, the number one thing clients want from their home is "comfort." They ask for comfort, they want their space to be homey, and inviting. Who wants to live in a place where it's uncomfortable? That just sounds absurd.

When we get a locker at school/work, or a new cubicle/desk, the first thing we do is make it personal. We do this by adding our own pictures, statues or figurines, and arranging things in the way we like it. Why? To make it comfortable for us. And make it "who we are," that way that desk is screaming our name everywhere.

When we lie in bed, we scrounge, we shuffle the sheets, we flip our pillows to the get the right fluffiness to be comfortable. We can't seem to fall asleep until we find comfort unless we were at an amusement park for 13 hours screaming our lungs out. So wherever we lie our head will be good enough. Or, you're just me and fall asleep wherever, whenever. But we usually flip over backwards and forwards until we're comfortable.

But then there's a bad kind of comfort where we lose ourself in the comfort. Especially in relationships. Not just boyfriend/girlfriend, but even friendships. Where we become so comfortable we don't know how to draw boundaries, cross lines, and even go overboard with things we do/say. Or just ignore the discomfort we find in the comfort we have so much of.  What we do with the comfort we find shows where we'll end up.

You don't want to be so comfortable in your own home that you never clean, pick up, and wash dishes. You don't want to be so comfortable you stop dressing up for your significant other. You don't want to be so comfortable you stop caring about anything. Too much of anything is never good.

If you pay attention to your conversations with people, see how often someone says the word "comfortable" and what context it's in. It's surprising how we all desire it and what we do with it.

p.s. The most comfortable thing to me is having pillows all around me so I feel like I'm on a cloud and falling asleep when I'm not supposed to.

Something New

After traveling to New York and living the city life for just a brief 6 days, I have broadened my outlook on life. Not only that, but has shown me a lot of what I have been missing. Or… just showed me everything Seattle doesn’t have haha.

Being born and raised in Seattle has made me in the comfort zone. I like knowing where I am at all times, which coffee shop has the best americano’s, and know the back roads to every place during peak rush hour. The occasional freak out of feeling suffocated in 1 city happens once in awhile and I rage about wanting to move elsewhere. But Seattle is always, and no matter what, will be home. However, the world has so much to offer. I understand why my dad is always encouraging me to vacation different places, countries, and cities – you always learn something and grow as a person from it.

Even a New Yorker will say that the city offers too much for them to experience everything. I can definitely not say that about Seattle. -___- I know I’ll be here for another 2 years or so to finish up school, but my anxiety level of wanting to get out is becoming uncontrollable.

Wanting to know more about what else is out there, feeling lost, and meeting new people are the ingredients of growing up. And I believe that we all need to do this for ourselves and no one else. Or at least feel all of these at one point during this thing called life.

With that said, I can’t say how exciting, crazy, fun and hungover I was on this trip. Being a first time visitor and being skeptical of how great New York really is compared to what people say, I went on this trip with minimal expectations. And I came out with more than I had even fathomed. But the saying of “it’s not what you do, but who you’re with” that I always say comes into play. I went with Chris for his cousin’s wedding and ended up being with the Acabs majority of the time. And then being stuck on Staten Island due to Hurricane Irene made us into sardines in 1 little house.

The Acab’s have a great bond and it’s too bad everyone is all over the country. They have a great relationship with one another with their craziness. Are all Filipino families crazy? Regardless, I love Filipinos. I can never get away from them. 

Concrete jungle where dreams are made of definitely showed me there really is nothing you can’t do. Do yourself a favor and if you haven’t been to New York, take a visit!

I’m going to say this. But I love New York better than Vegas. Yes, I said it. :) 

Time Square 

Best Boy Friend

So today is this guy named Joel Acab's birthday. AKA Chris. Well, his middle name is Christopher and he just likes to go by his middle name. One of the reasons is cause people don't know how to pronounce his name correctly. I guess it's Jo-elle, and not Jole. -___-

He's finally 24 and I've been 24 for already 6 months. sigh... WTHECK CHRIS! sluffin haha

Anyway, let me just say all the annoying things about this guy. hahaha jk. But to be honest, I have to say he's my best boy friend. I never thought I'd have a best friend that's a boy... But I guess he fits the definition of what a best friend is. He's always there for me, gives me an honest answer, tells me how he feels about what I ask him, listen to me ramble about stupid crap, and will help me out whenever I need! Even though he's incapable of doing something! Not only that, but helps me be a better friend/person. Now, isn't that all you want from a friend? Oh, wait... 1 more. He gives me advice whenever I have a digestive problem haha! The soon-to-be-doctor tells me what's wrong me all the time. :)

He's always wanting to turn anything into a game to play. And adamant about teaching me Craps to a point where I don't want to learn anymore. Kind of like when he wanted me to like the show How I Met Your Mother so much I wanted to regurgitate. He wants to teach me so bad he printed out a Craps sheet apparently. haha! Fine, I'll learn it sooner or later for you, Chris. And we shall go to the casino and win big.

I know I can always turn to him. He's given me good advice and he's full of fun ALL THE TIME! So what can I lose from this guy? Minus the fact that he's not a girl and I can't always share everything with him haha! Although, I think he wishes I don't share some things with him.... He helps me see things from a different view and is always on the lookout for me. And always taking care of me. Not to mention super protective of me. He used the analogy as "Father being worried for his daughter" once. -__-

p.s. sorry for being a bitch sometimes and for dealing with it. :P love you chrissy poo!!!! haha 

I am a Giant Cheesecake

A lot of people say "You are what you eat" to help you manage your intake of "bad foods." Cause who wants to look like a giant piece of Big Mac? But this doesn't really stop me. :T It's bad, but I do try to be healthy. Actually, I eat lots of greens, veggies and fruits daily. But I guess I cave into ice cream, candy, sweets, snacks and smoothies too much so all that hard work of "being healthy" throughout the day is just tossed out the window. sigh...

So since we are what we eat... we are also who we surround ourselves with. Recently I've realized I'm unhappy at my work. A lot of factors come into play to feel this way (if I'm close enough to you, you've heard my stories).  I've managed for two and a half years to be here. I'm surprised at myself how long I've lasted!

Well, our workplace doesn't seem like a big deal but it actually is more than you think. Most of us are at our jobs minimum of 30 hours a week; that's 120 hours a month; 1440 hours a year! AT LEAST! We all have coworkers we dislike, hate, get annoyed of, and want to slam their heads into a wall... But we just roll our eyes and walk away (usually). Not only that, but the workplace affects who we are, how we feel, and our mood. I've decided to make a stern decision to quit one of my jobs because it's an unhealthy environment for me. I haven't had the guts to do it for so long but just like people say, "When you know, you know..." And I KNOW. Now is the time. Regardless of when I do it, my boss won't be happy. So why prolong it and make my heart race every time I work? (My heart is racing as I type this -- I have yet to quit. I will do it tonight haha. Or let's hope I do!)

Continuing on, positive and negative energy is so apparent that we miss it. Ironic, huh? We sometimes become oblivious to what we are always around that we get used to it. Even when it's bad, we think it's good. Or perhaps justify anything to make it a positive energy. Our friends show a reflection of who we are. Therefore surround yourself with who you are like and love to be with. Who you become when you're with people can show what kind of friends you have. Also, loving the person you become is very important as well.

Surround yourself with good people, good food, good music, and God. What more could you need in life? :)

Daddy's Right Again

I'll admit it. I'm Daddy's little girl. I do everything he tells me to do and I look up to him like no other. However, I have my share of talking back and pouting. Find it annoying, but I refer to him to everything. Well once again, I have come across something, and he's right.

Over my past Vegas trip, I lost a pair of sunglasses. I convinced myself I lost them being the clutsy person I am sometimes (and being under the influence). Well, these were my favorite! I wanted them again so bad I was about to buy another pair last week haha. But I thought, "is $640 worth a pair of glasses?" So I resisted myself and didn't get them.

Well, I won't list any names but I get a message from a close friend telling me she saw one of the girls that went on my Vegas trip wearing the same pair of glasses. O_O was her response when she saw them on her. Anyway, there's no hard evidence like the court would say. But what a coincidink that I lost my Chanel glasses and now she has the same pair? Oddly enough, she wouldn't stop saying how much she liked them.

My dad always told me to never trust even my closest friends cause you never know who will betray you. That in this world, it's me against everyone. This world is evil and there are horrible people out there. SO TRUE! (But would always say there are kind people. Just that there are more bad than good) I would have never thought a friend of mine would do that. But you know, that just shows her character and how low of a person she is. If I had it my way, I'd go over there, give her my 2 cents, and take it back. But I've woosa'd a lot and I will just let it slide and I'll let her have it.

Life advice my dad always told me and still tells me are:
Be on time.
Don't lie.
Respect elders.
Have a kind heart.
Love God.

And I've failed to do some of these. :( But I try to follow his life rules as much as I can. If I can find a man even a fraction of who my dad is, I couldn't ask for more! He's so selfless, giving, understanding, patient, humble and loving. I love him!

idk

It's been awhile since I've blogged. And there's 2 reasons. 1, I am super tired all the time and working everyday -___-. 2, I'm having writer's block. I guess I just have nothing to say or want to talk about.

I'm kind of at a point where everyday is redundant but not too repetitive where I go insane. I just want to go on trips all the time and do whatever I want. Is that bad? Anyway, I don't really care what the answer is... but I'm just doing whatever I want as I please. :D

The 1st thing on my mind everyday is NEW YORK!!! I can't wait to go. This is the least planning I've done for a trip and the cheapest trip, ever. I have planned nothing. The only thing I know I'm going to be doing is: Yankees game. And of course Serendipity! I may extend my trip another week for some other events but I haven't decided 100% on it yet. So we'll see about that..

I have been working like a mad woman because we are super short staffed at my work. Hmm... why don't we hire? My boss is super picky and it's hard to find someone up to par with her. But once I start school, my hours will be cut drastically whether she likes it or not. I just wanna finish school and be done!

This post is really pointless and I am all over the place. I should just sign out. BYE!

Before I really go... listen to this. I am loving it! :)

Back to Reality

Inhale, exhale. Woosa. After an insane weekend of hardcore partying in Vegas, back to work and everything else I'm supposed to be doing as my daily routine. But ... am I crazy for thinking that I want/could go back again this weekend? haha! Daily routine consisted of: wake up, drink, pool party, come back to hotel and nap, wake up, get ready, drink, go out, come back to the hotel and KO. 3 full days of powering through is how I managed to do it! Along with 7 other people.

Surprises and being spontaneous is the best part of life. We semi-planned this trip with some guys in San Francisco but didn't plan on being with them the whole time but ended up being together. And I have to say I have never found a bunch of guys funnier than them. Thanks, guys! (And for everything else) They sure don't act their age! :P

Well, I will admit Vegas is over-rated but once you get there, it's all fun and drunkenness. Everyone there is just trying to have a good time and enjoy life. It's kind of far from the reality we all live in; maybe that's why Vegas is so great? We can leave all that we have and put it on hold for the 3 days and act like there's no tomorrow. But after the 3 days pass, sigh... reality!

Wish we took more pictures with Nicole! And of us girls. 

They look cute/nice for once and not crazy. Minus Ed's face. 

Tao Beach!

This night Theresa didn't drink cause she felt sick. I think everyone had a night of feeling sick except me?

What a nice group picture! After Marquee Day Club.

The best reward of working hard is partying harder! Just live life and power through! :)

Time Will Tell

Time is a funny thing. Over time we find out a lot. We find if our friendships stand the test, if relationships last over the bickering, if we truly love the job we have, and even when things aren't worth our time. With time we heal, grow, and ache through this thing called life. And if you wonder if anything will work, time will tell. Over time we build stronger relationships, but some fall apart. We also find the great qualities about people and the ugly flaws. 

I watched this video about 2 months ago for the first time and I realized a lot of stuff. Everything the guy says is true and couldn't be more dead on. It made me smile but sad at the same time. Life ain't a fairy tale with rainbows and smiley faces all the time. I've been to every stage he talks about and makes me laugh out loud at some of the things. :) 

Do you ever watch movies and when people wake up from a night's sleep and look perfect? haha so unreal. As a kid I remember thinking, "how do they look the same when they wake up and when they're up during the day? Cause I sure don't." But over time, I realized it's just the entertainment industry. Random and not related to the topic of this blog haha but just wanted to say it. 

What is Love?

What is love? In this world we get love and lust mixed up. Or better yet, think anything "in the moment" can be "true love" -- we toss this word around like it's a hacky sack. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 couldn't be more dead on about what love is (click here to see the passage). It's cliche to be read at a wedding but it couldn't put it in a better way to describe love (The Bible is always right). And when true love is apparent, it's like "a town built on a hill cannot be hidden" (Matthew 5:14). Over the weekend, I witnessed the most beautiful couple that couldn't be more perfect that joined in harmony.

Hobey and Lea had an awesome wedding where I cried about 5 different times (or every time Hobey cried, I was there with him). I'm a hopeless romantic so anything that has to do with love will make me cry -- especially at weddings. When Lea walked down the aisle, I looked at Hobey the whole time and I couldn't help but see the true love he has for her. He's about to marry the most amazing/beautiful/funny/stubborn woman in the world that couldn't fit his palm better than anyone else. The start of the rest of his life with Lea is beginning and I could see it through his face shaking, inhale/exhales, looking up at the ceiling, and trying to contain himself. I realized at that moment how big their love was.

Now, going to weddings are my favorite. But it only made me look at myself more, and see where my stance is in this "love ladder." I am at the bottom and far from walking down the aisle, but I long for that moment just like any other girl. To be able to find that person I have a deeper love than skin, and to be able to share my uglies and pretties together; aka best friend.

I got some good advice from Annaliza and I can't agree more! Girls, if you're single, you'll go through phases of being crazy, feeling more lonely than a duck in the highway, then being okay with being that duck. When we're lonely, we want to search for that object to fill that void. But it just shows how not ready we are to be in a relationship. Once we become content, happy and prideful in being a sad duck is when we glow, and that is when we are ready to be in a relationship. Wanting to fill our loneliness is natural, but hunting for someone/thing shows how emotionally unstable we are. So, just be single, be sad, be that poor little duck crossing the highway, and before you know it, you'll shine like a star! :)

I've learned when you look for something, you never find it. Let it come gradually and let God do the magic. Don't shake the tree, just let the leaves fall. :)

 Lea was stunning! 

He's such a sweetheart ! 

Money dance! 

CONGRATULATIONS TO HOBEY & LEA UN! 

busy busy bysu sbuy usby ysbu

Who's not busy these days? We all say we're busy but we make time for the ones we care about. No matter what, there's no excuse for not making time for the ones you love. Somehow, someway we can always make something work. Maintaining anything needs time, work, and effort.

So I've been going crazy lately. I don't work 12's like some people I know, or work crazy long hours. But I have been more busy! I've always been the "busy bee," but boy I've haven't even had time to sleep! Well, more like my body won't let me sleep. No matter what time I sleep, I wake up at least by 8am! --drives me CRAZY. Working two jobs isn't so bad, but this past week was finals week. So I think that drained me out even more. I've worked 12 shifts in 7 days. My main question is how am I still awake and functioning?

On top of 12 shifts and finals week, I had Father's day, my brother's high school graduation and Lea's bridal shower, too. (SO MUCH IS HAPPENING!) This has been the busiest I have been! Wait, I remember working 96 hours in 1 week once when I worked at Nordstrom and Flo, so I take that back. But now that I'm not 21 anymore, my body begs for mercy when I put myself through this.

Well, despite it all the hard work I'm doing, I guess it's summer? But where is it? I remember this time last year I was at Matthews Beach! But it's barely nice enough to get a jog out. I'm ready for summer! I don't want to worry about being cold walking to my car. And yes, now that the quarter is over... that is my biggest worry! Oh, and the gas prices going up.

Imperfect Friendship

Something about imperfection is beautiful. Perfection is great but what fun is that? When someone/thing is perfect that means no work has to be added. There's always room for improvement and without work, we never learn. With that being said, an imperfect friendship is better than a perfect friendship.

Over the weekend, my best friend Leilani Fe Romulo Ambion graduated from UW! If you're wondering, she got a Bachelors of Science in Health Informatics and Health Information Management. Whew, that was long. So aka HIHIM. I remember she couldn't figure out what she wanted to do a few years ago going back and forth; we would joke about how we are never going to graduate. But finally she settled and accomplished! To be honest, I never knew something like this even existed, but what do I know? haha. Well, I have to say that I am so happy for her and proud of her. :)

Through the years I've seen Leila grow up in a different way. I've seen her at her best, worst, ugly, and even ugliest. I remember the day I met her she was in the back of Addison's car by Alki Beach 9 years ago, and I thought she was a quiet girl. She was introduced to me as "Mike's sister, Leila" and remember thinking she's just the sister tagging along with her older brother and his friends. Who knew we'd have such a journey together 9 years down the line?

I know for a fact that I annoy her. I bug her. I do things the way she doesn't like. I say things she doesn't like. Yet she loves me. Same goes for me. Her drunk voice first of all... can sometimes be funny. It's annoying but funny. I laugh every time I watch a drunk video of her cause of her voice. And she even laughs about it too. I guess when you have a deep understanding of friendship with someone it becomes more than "having fun" together. People say I'm a blunt person and can never lie (I am). I absolutely hate lying! But I can't be 100% blunt to everyone. However, I tell Leila how it is and she doesn't take it offensively. I let her know how I feel, what I think, and what my thoughts are. We can get into sensitive subjects and even end up in an argument but in the end everything is okay.

My love for this girl is so big it's annoying. Why do I care about her so much? Friendship isn't about money, how much or how little you do for someone, but rather what you get out of it. I have to say that I can count on her any time and she will do what she can for me.

Leila is one of a kind. She's the youngest of 4 so you can just say she's a spoiled little brat that has her way. But that's not all. She is a fun, loving, giving, caring, person that knows how to be a friend. Leila is my "emergency contact" in a lot of forms I fill out -- that's a big thing. I trust her enough to know that she has my back regardless of what she may be doing. I know that I would drop anything for her to be where she needs me. I can't say how many times I've thought about our friendship and got teary-eyed. The understanding between us is hard to find with anyone these days. You could say that history has a lot to do with it but she has been through everything with me -- through the toughest years of my life until now. She's been a solid rock for me when I was a pebble needing a friend.

Whenever I need advice or support I turn to her cause I know she'll give me an honest answer. She genuinely cares what my days are like and wants to know how I am throughout the week. She's the first person I dial when something happens. Whether it would be knowing a juicy gossip, getting into an accident, or being frustrated about something I'm bawling about. I know that we're imperfect people but we make each other better. She has flaws but so do I. I love her dearly and I am proud to say that she is my best friend. :) Congratulations and I love you, Leila!

p.s. A relationship that never argues/has problems is like a muscle that never works out.

Happy vs. Joy

Everyone can say they're "happy." But being happy is different than feeling joy. Often times girlfriends will ask each other "Are you happy?" It can be regarding their job, boyfriend, school and whatever else life can bring. I find myself asking my friends this question, too. And if it's manageable and not life threatening, most of them will answer "Yeah, I'm happy."

Being happy and feeling joy are two different things. Happiness can be found from materialistic things. But true joy comes from deep within. To feel joy is another level of happiness that I believe is hard to find. Even depressed people can say they're happy and "okay," but to feel joy in themselves/their lives is tough. I feel blessed that I am at a point in life where I feel joy and am even happy. I love where I am with (almost) everything. Not to mention, I feel like all of our friends are getting closer, and everyone is at a good place. :) I know I say I want to leave Seattle and I have the biggest itch to leave -- but I know that it's easier said than done. Leaving everything behind would be the toughest thing. Yet I still wanna leave to see what else is out there. Contradicting myself, I know... :T

The other day I talked to my best friend on the phone, and it was the first time in a few weeks. I told her she sounds happy. Then I stopped myself and said, "No. You sound like you have joy in your life!" True joy comes from within that can't be hidden no matter how hard you try. Being content with yourself, satisfied with where you stand, and having confidence in yourself are only a few of the factors to show that you have joy in your life. Happiness can be a front of our true emotions. But no matter what, joy can't be a front because it's a true, genuine emotion that's explosive like a firework.

Moozic

We don't realize how important our senses are until we lose it. I mean, when we get a cut on our pinky, we cry about it cause we can't grab a spoon correctly shows how much we take our health for granted (at least I cry about it). I always asked myself which sense do I consider the most important? With no questions, I always said "sight," but the more I think, I can't depict what's a greater value in life than the other. What if I can never feel how soft a pillow is? Taste my mom's jaw-dropping cooking? Can't smell wonderful elephant ears at the fair? See what my parents look like?  Hear what a piano sounds like?

Something about silence is eerie. In a car ride we turn the music on if it's dead quiet with someone -- or even when we're alone. And when we have company over, we turn on the TV in the background to just have "noise" going even though we may be engaged in a conversation. I mean, I have the TV on right now and some hair-growth formula is being advertised to me. One, I can't find my remote still so I can't change the channel. Two, I have it on just for background noise. Three, the music is also on. All these noise-related things are going. Something about the fact that I'm alone in my room lying in bed blogging makes me want to feel not alone. And with that, I fill that void with music. Music makes me feel not alone yet alone.

You can't listen to music while talking to someone. When I listen to a lyric I can't do anything but focus. I can't be reading a book, listen to a song for the first time and know what both authors are saying to me. But when I'm alone, that's when I hear the music. I get engaged and fall in love.

Over the years I've learned to appreciate music on a deeper level. How genius it is to create something beautiful, and to even be able to sing with a beautiful voice. I played piano for 12 years and I still don't understand how people can create music that's soothing to the ears. Geniuses like Beethoven and Chopin blows my mind away that they could create music so beautiful. Then onto music today. Sigh... some are just ridiculous but there are a few artists that are considered real artists. I enjoy all sorts of music, actually. But usually slow jams, r&b, gospel, Christian, jazz, and some pop. But music is something I love and use to fill the void I have once in awhile. I don't think I can go a day without music. Better yet a shower without it. When I forget my iPod for snowboarding I get really sad and boarding isn't the same. It's definitely influenced me and kept me sane when I needed to be. I've realized I turn to music more than I thought and I'm thankful that I have this sense to experience music. And I'll be honest... I've blasted my music and started dancing like no one's watching cause no one is watching. :)


p.s. I am in love with this song. :)
What Happened To Us -Jessica Mauboy feat. Jay Sean

Live Life

Life is too short. So why not live it to the fullest while we're in it? I'm young, I don't really have any huge responsibilities, I don't have any attachments, I have nothing huge to worry about minus trying to graduate and keeping my bosses happy. I'm constantly hearing from people that "[I] should do everything while [I'm] young." So... I'm taking that advice.

As insane as it may sound, it's really not. But I'm going to LA/San Diego! Kind of a last minute trip once again but oh well. It's usually not what you do but who you're with that's more important. So I'm not so focused on where I'm going more than who I'm going with. Although I am super excited for it! Anda goes into busy season starting last week of July and she will be married for 3 months... aka hibernation mode. So I need to get as much time with Anda as possible! She gets 2 days off for Independence Day, and vacation days are slim on her end. So we thought we'd take advantage of it and take a 6 day trip to LA/San Diego. Plus, be in a different place than Seattle for once for the 4th of July. Sorry guys, but we won't be in Matt's backyard lighting fireworks this year haha! I'm sure you guys will have fun while Matt's mom cooks up a storm and the boys play basketball for hours. :)

Two weeks right after, I head to Vegas again! I can't get enough of that place. Not to mention more Vitamin D for me. :) So far this is all I have for summer since I shouldn't push it with my bosses. I guess my summer will end a little early? But who knows, a possible spontaneous trip may happen. Why not? LIVE LIFE! :D

Lighter Note

On a lighter note, I feel a high in life and feel blessed to have the family and friends I have. I guess with life we become mature with age. But since boys never become men and stay boys forever, this doesn't really count towards them. :)

I can't really complain about life right now. God has blessed me with the comfort of stability, courage and wisdom. I have a calm ease in my heart that everything is okay. I have wonderful friends who support me, and a family that stands behind me no matter what. However before I know it, I'll have a problem to solve; just watch. How we handle problems in life show our character. I'm not the best at it but I try to stay sane. I know I freak out and go crazy but I just need a little bit of time to relax and woosa it all out. I would say who I am is all because of my dad. If you know me, you know I refer to my dad about everything. He has taught me everything I know in life, and showed me how to handle life at the worst. From how to being a friend, handling money, being on time, how to treat people, and knowing what people are like in the world and every crevice in between is all from him.

Girls tend to want a man that's like their dad, and if I ever meet a man that's half the man my dad is, I couldn't be happier. Subconsciously I think I look for a man like my dad and become picky. Everything he has ever said is true and I can't pick out any wrong thing he's ever said. He's been the rock in my life through the ups and downs, the worst and the best.

So, deleting all my blogs shouldn't be my biggest worry. I should be happy because it just gives me a clean slate to start off of. Everything happens for a reason. And I have a lot to be happy and grateful for.

Btw, this past weekend was my twins' (Anda & Aya) birthday weekend. Sadly I only have 1 picture with the both of them so this will have to suffice. (More pics on fb later on this week)

-_-

This Korean Blonde named Helen Choi accidentally deleted my entire blog .. hahaha there's nothing I can do but laugh at myself. sigh... OH THE THINGS I DO TO MYSELF!! hahahah! I gotta love myself.

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!